Interview by Clayton

01. What is your favorite childhood memory?

That's a tough question, there are so many. Poppies in Grandma's garden; baby goats and sheep and chickens and pigs; toboganing; driving around in the bush with Dad in the Bombardier; Mom teaching us to embroider. But I think my favourite childhood memory with you is the day Uncle Pat took you and me on our first fishing trip. I would have been 5 and you were 4. We went to Mosquito Lake and trolled around with the boat. I caught the biggest fish of the day and you caught 2 fishes.

02. How long can you hold your breath?

1 minute and 9 seconds

03. What is your understanding of / perspective on the Flying Spaghetti Monster and the Pastafarians who worship him? I ask this only because of your proclivity for dressing as a pirate.

I have no idea what you are talking about . . . hold on a minute, I'll Google it . . . Hmmm. Well, I guess if dressing like a pirate will stop global warming, I'm happy to do my part.

04. What is your favorite politically incorrect phrase and/or joke?

"My long hair just can't cover up my redneck..."

Joke:

A man with no arms goes to a church and asks for a job. The priest says, "What can you do?" The man says, "I can ring the bell." The priest looks embarassed and says, "But sir, you have no arms. How can you ring the bell?" "I'll show you," the man says. They climb up into the bell tower and the man runs at the bell, hitting it with his head and it makes the most beautiful note. The priest cries, "Do it again! Do it again!" and the man runs at the bell but he misses, falls out the window, and plummets to his death.

Later on two detectives are standing around looking at the body, one asks, "Do you know who this man is?"

The other detective says, "No, but his face rings a bell."

The next day the armless man's, armless twin brother comes to the church looking for a job. The priest asks him what he can do and he replies, "I can ring the bell." The priest is a little dubious considering the privious day's events but he agrees to let the man try. In the bell tower, the man runs at the bell, hitting it with his head and makes an even more beautiful note than his brother. In his excitement the priest cries, "Do it again! Do it again!" and the man runs at the bell but he misses, falls out the window, and plummets to his death.

Later on the same two detectives are standing around examining the body, one says to the other, "Do you know who this man is?"

The other detective replies, "No, but he's a dead ringer for the other guy."

05. If, by chance, Davyd had been hypnotically programed to dance like an angry elf, or as he believes and angry elf might dance, whenever he heard the song, "The Last Saskatchewan Pirate" written by The Arrogant Worms and performed by Capatain Tractor, how often would you play it for your own amusement or the amusement of others?

I would play it incessantly because I'm evil, Davyd tells me so. (That's the funniest question anyone's ever asked me.)

Questions for Clayton:

1. We come from a family of homebodies. What do you think made you want to pick up and vagabound around the world?

2. What's your favourite childhood memory?

3. What's the best thing you've done in Korea so far? What do you want to do most now?

4. Who's your favourite author and why?

5. What would you like me to send you in your next care package?